Insurance Premiums, Lives and Wagering Hang In The Balance

(April 9, Saucier, MS)  Colorado Springs is quite a distance from the Gulf Coast.  The hearty, proud folks who occupy this fragile, vulnerable corner of our country, are possessed of a native, local intelligence not easily quantifiable.  These people, whose families have lived in the marshes, swamps and coastal lowlands from Galveston, Texas to Mobile, Alabama, for generations, know the terrain, climate, weather and, in a sense, the immediate future, better than any academic Ph. D. expert in any discipline related to this particular turf.

Dr. William Gray, from Colorado State University has worked in the observational and theoretical aspects of tropical meteorological research for more than 40 years.  He has won acclaim and awards for his pioneering work on tropical storms, Atlantic Coast cyclones; better known as hurricanes.  His forecasts and predictions, besides being underwritten by the federal government via our National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration, have been utilized by federal, state and local agencies for decades.  Dr. Gray’s work, in totality, has been remarkable.  In the majority of instances his predictions have been remarkably, consistently wrong.

Dr. Wuo Hung Dung, the Director of the Blankin Enterprises financied, Atlantic Storm System Predictive Analytic Center (ASSPAC), located in Moss Point, Mississippi, resoundingly disputes Dr. Gray’s forecast for 2008. “ He seem not to know what he talkin’ ‘bout.  His methodology and calculations are so skewed, i cannot begin to explain it.” 

It must be noted that the predictions announced today are actually revisions of the hurricane forecast Dr. Gray and his colleagues issued in December 2007.  Mississippi native, entrepreneur, billionaire, Blogger Blankin, financier of ASSPAC commented, “ If I had the luxury of  changing my forecasts, predictions and investment strategy like Dr. Gray has the luxury of changing his forecasts to make  his predictions appear correct, I’d have dumped Tyco and WorldCom and sold it all to Dr. Gray.”

Blankin, the reclusive, billionaire active in conservative GOP movements, Republican national Committee politics, childhood friend of Governor Haley Barbour and confidante of the recently deceased, William F. Buckley, is prepared to challenge Dr. Gray’s work.  “ I not only disagree with Bill Gray and his associates up in Colorado, I’m willing to put a significant wager on the data provided by ASSPAC.  I have faith that our data is far more accurate than anything coming out of the Rockies. Dr. Dung ranks highly above the atmospheric theoretical geophysicists of today.  He’s basically the Dale Earnhardt of hurricane science, and the Brett Favre of Storm predictions. If Dr. Gray, with all due respect, cares to back his data with some cash, I’m more than happy to oblige.”

Blankin further noted that ‘hell, every insurance company in the world employs thousands of actuaries, statisticians and mathematicians to calculate premiums, the odds of this disaster or that catastrophe happening.  I think there’s some money to be made in that.  I even think your average Joe, living in a hurricane prone area, likely to loose his mobile home, Jeep and dog might care to place a wager.  I am promising to utilize all of Dr. Gray’s data, definitions, and predictions as the baseline of gambling lines and prop bets that will no doubt flood in once it is known I am underwriting the entire endeavor.”

The Palermo Associates of new York City, the legal representative of Blankin Global Enterprises, et al. has established a legal relationship with an offshore gaming broker in the Cayman Islands.  However, Vincent D. Nuzzio, Chief Financial Attorney for Palermo Associates said, ‘ In my view this action need not be taken offshore.  This is not gambling.  If you are an insurer or underwriter, this is merely speculative investing.  My question to the SEC, IRS, DOJ, FEMA, OTB and the FBI is, ‘why can’t a fella without an MBA or Schwab Account get in on this action?  Hey, we aren’t putting a vig or penalties on any wager. What could be more American than that’?  Depending on the odds, probability and a guys luck, a well placed $100 bet would payoff ten times better than State Farm Home Owners Insurance.  Besides, with us, you KNOW you are in good hands”.

Dr. Gray, the betting windows are open.  Step on up, after all, we’re using your numbers to set the odds.

Luck, be a lady tonight.  Dr. Gray, you’ve just entered the Eye of the Storm.

 Ah Capice’