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RENOWNED EXPERT ISSUES 2008 HURRICANE FORECAST

MISSISSIPPI BASED STORM SPECIALISTS DISAGREE
Insurance Premiums, Lives and Wagering Hang In The Balance

(April 9, Saucier, MS)  Colorado Springs is quite a distance from the Gulf Coast.  The hearty, proud folks who occupy this fragile, vulnerable corner of our country, are possessed of a native, local intelligence not easily quantifiable.  These people, whose families have lived in the marshes, swamps and coastal lowlands from Galveston, Texas to Mobile, Alabama, for generations, know the terrain, climate, weather and, in a sense, the immediate future, better than any academic Ph. D. expert in any discipline related to this particular turf.

Dr. William Gray, from Colorado State University has worked in the observational and theoretical aspects of tropical meteorological research for more than 40 years.  He has won acclaim and awards for his pioneering work on tropical storms, Atlantic Coast cyclones; better known as hurricanes.  His forecasts and predictions, besides being underwritten by the federal government via our National Oceanic And Atmospheric Administration, have been utilized by federal, state and local agencies for decades.  Dr. Gray’s work, in totality, has been remarkable.  In the majority of instances his predictions have been remarkably, consistently wrong.

Dr. Wuo Hung Dung, the Director of the Blankin Enterprises financied, Atlantic Storm System Predictive Analytic Center (ASSPAC), located in Moss Point, Mississippi, resoundingly disputes Dr. Gray’s forecast for 2008. “ He seem not to know what he talkin’ ‘bout.  His methodology and calculations are so skewed, i cannot begin to explain it.” 

It must be noted that the predictions announced today are actually revisions of the hurricane forecast Dr. Gray and his colleagues issued in December 2007.  Mississippi native, entrepreneur, billionaire, Blogger Blankin, financier of ASSPAC commented, “ If I had the luxury of  changing my forecasts, predictions and investment strategy like Dr. Gray has the luxury of changing his forecasts to make  his predictions appear correct, I’d have dumped Tyco and WorldCom and sold it all to Dr. Gray.”

Blankin, the reclusive, billionaire active in conservative GOP movements, Republican national Committee politics, childhood friend of Governor Haley Barbour and confidante of the recently deceased, William F. Buckley, is prepared to challenge Dr. Gray’s work.  “ I not only disagree with Bill Gray and his associates up in Colorado, I’m willing to put a significant wager on the data provided by ASSPAC.  I have faith that our data is far more accurate than anything coming out of the Rockies. Dr. Dung ranks highly above the atmospheric theoretical geophysicists of today.  He’s basically the Dale Earnhardt of hurricane science, and the Brett Favre of Storm predictions. If Dr. Gray, with all due respect, cares to back his data with some cash, I’m more than happy to oblige.”

Blankin further noted that ‘hell, every insurance company in the world employs thousands of actuaries, statisticians and mathematicians to calculate premiums, the odds of this disaster or that catastrophe happening.  I think there’s some money to be made in that.  I even think your average Joe, living in a hurricane prone area, likely to loose his mobile home, Jeep and dog might care to place a wager.  I am promising to utilize all of Dr. Gray’s data, definitions, and predictions as the baseline of gambling lines and prop bets that will no doubt flood in once it is known I am underwriting the entire endeavor.”

The Palermo Associates of new York City, the legal representative of Blankin Global Enterprises, et al. has established a legal relationship with an offshore gaming broker in the Cayman Islands.  However, Vincent D. Nuzzio, Chief Financial Attorney for Palermo Associates said, ‘ In my view this action need not be taken offshore.  This is not gambling.  If you are an insurer or underwriter, this is merely speculative investing.  My question to the SEC, IRS, DOJ, FEMA, OTB and the FBI is, ‘why can’t a fella without an MBA or Schwab Account get in on this action?  Hey, we aren’t putting a vig or penalties on any wager. What could be more American than that’?  Depending on the odds, probability and a guys luck, a well placed $100 bet would payoff ten times better than State Farm Home Owners Insurance.  Besides, with us, you KNOW you are in good hands”.

Dr. Gray, the betting windows are open.  Step on up, after all, we’re using your numbers to set the odds.

Luck, be a lady tonight.  Dr. Gray, you’ve just entered the Eye of the Storm.

 Ah Capice’




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SMALL TOWN SORDID UNDERBELLY EXPOSED

Crime, Cocaine and Death Tied To Bank With a History

 

(Mar. 24, Hills, IA)  Nestled amid sprawling corn a bean fields, the city of Hills, Iowa does not even have a traffic light.  A mere 8 miles from the downtown section of Iowa City, this bedroom community of under 700 has known its share of scandal and intrigue.  The latest sordid tale to emanate from this unremarkable hamlet took on an even more tragic pall earlier today.

 

Hills, Iowa is the home of the Hills Bank and Trust, the seventh largest bank in the state.  With their home office on this plain and simple, if not somewhat barren Main Street, the Hills Bank brings approximately 200 employees into this quiet town daily.  This institution with a long, somewhat colorful, if not shady history, was recently rocked by scandal when a Vice President, Steven Sueppel was indicted on a host of federal charges related to allegations of theft, embezzlement, money laundering and drug purchases.  His family of 5; his wife Cheryl and their four children were discovered dead this morning after the Iowa City Police dispatcher received and anonymous call from a cell phone stating that the police needed to get to that home immediately.

 

Arriving officers found the house, at 629 Barrington Road unlocked and made the grizzly discoveries upon their initial search of the premises.  According to neighbors wishing to remain anonymous, Mr. and Mrs. Sueppel and their four children attended church services yesterday morning.  Prior to the charges filed against Mr. Sueppel, the family was well known and liked in the neighborhood and the community.  His indictment last month and the details which have slowly emerged subsequent to his release on bond have truly shocked this community which seems to see itself as somewhat immune to such events.

 

Local and state law enforcement agencies immediately began a search fro Mr. Sueppel.  They had established that the family minivan, a Toyota Siena was missing as was Mr. Sueppel.  Just hours later what may be the missing van was found ablaze after crashing into a sign stanchion approximately 9 miles from the Sueppel home on Interstate 80.  It remains unclear if the van or any human remains have been identified thus far in this fast moving investigation.  According to one Iowa DCI official speaking anonymously, the crashed van “was totally engulfed in a raging inferno.  It has been burned beyond recognition and, it follows that anyone inside that van would also be unidentifiable at this time.”

 

The Hills Bank and trust has a somewhat storied history and many in this town and the surrounding area, say it is also a “shady” history.  Established in 1904, the Hills Bank has seen impressive growth over the past 20 years.  The story of some of that growth is difficult to decipher as it is clouded in rumor, innuendo and local myth as much as in scant and somewhat suspicious facts.  According to sources familiar with the bank and some of its “major players” over the years, the Hills Bank was initially unable to grow due to its location and Iowa law.  Sources say that Iowa law stipulated that a bank could only expand and open another branch in a town or community with which it shared a contiguous border.  Since the City of Hills is remote, isolated in a sense, the only way for it to attain a contiguous border was to annex a three mile railroad spur that would then physically and legally connect it to Iowa City.  Once this annexation was complete, the Hills Bank began its remarkable story of growth, expansion and success.

 

Some of the whispered accounts of that annexation have long been a source of anger and resentment directed mainly at members serving on the bank’s Board during those years.  The details of the annexation were, to all outward appearances, legal and proper yet many locals were convinced there was more than a small measure of collusion, corruption and other nefarious activities that allowed the annexation to transpire.  One local farmer whose family opposed the annexation of the rail spur when it first became public knowledge, speaking under the condition of anonymity commented, “That whole deal stunk.  My dad knew it, I knew it, lots a folks here abouts knew it.  Them Stutsman’s had a lot to do with it and everyone knows how shady that bunch is.” 

 

The Stutsman’s are a local family with long ties to The City of Hills, the Hills Bank and what is commonly known as the Hills Rail Line.  They own and operate a large agricultural services and trucking company located in Hills.  The current President of Eldon C. Stutsman, Inc., the company’s name sakes eldest son, Ronald E. Stutsman, is also a member of the Hills Bank Board. Stutsman, Inc. partnered with The City of Hills in 2005 and was awarded a federal grant to pay for repairs to the Hills Rail Line.  This recent fact only served to re-enforce the belief of many area residents that without the financial backing and clout of the Stutsman’s, the Hills Bank would never have been able to have the rail line annexation approved.  “You want a story, you look into that whole thing”, said another area farmer.  Virtually everyone spoken to insisted on anonymity each expressing concern that the Stutsman’s and others, could “cause trouble” for them if they spoke for attribution.

 

In December 1985, then serving President of the Hills Bank, John Hughes, was shot to death in his Main Street office by a local disgruntled customer, a farmer deeply in debt to the Hills Bank whose family farm was about to be foreclosed by the bank.  Local rumor has it that the farmer, Dale Burr, had also mentioned plans to shoot Ron Stutsman.  Burr killed himself later in the day after having shot his wife and neighbor in addition to John Hughes.

 

It was the rampage of Dale Burr and his murder of John Hughes that began the undercurrents of rumor and innuendo about the Hills Bank that persist to this day. “John Hughes was a good man but he got into bed with some awful folks.  I’m ain’t sayin’ he deserved to be shot but, it kinda always made me wonder’, commented a farmer from the neighboring community of Lone Tree.

 

Reporting for TBC, Farley Marsden in Hills, Iowa.

 

Copyright © 2008 TBC All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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INDICTED BANKER’S FAMILY SLAIN

Embezzler Missing, Van Destroyed In Fiery Crash

 

(Mar. 24, Iowa City, IA)  Iowa City police received an anonymous phone call at approximately 6:30 CDT this morning instructing them to go to a residence on the east side of this university town.  The first officers on the scene at 629 Barrington Road discovered the house to be unlocked.  The bodies of a woman and four children were found within the residence.  The family mini van and the apparent husband and father of those slain within, Steve Sueppel, were both missing.  Sueppel, a 42 year old vice president of a local bank was indicted on numerous federal charges last month including embezzlement, money laundering and various drug charges.

 

While local and state authorities began searching for the Sueppel minivan and Mr. Sueppel, a van matching the description of the Sueppel's was involved in a single vehicle accident on Interstate 80 approximately 9 miles from the Sueppel home.  Law enforcement officials were reluctant to positively identify the wrecked van because its crash sparked a very volatile fire that burned the vehicle and any potential human remains beyond on-scene identification.  Until such positive matches are made, the Iowa Department of Criminal Investigations will neither confirm nor deny Mr. Sueppel was the van’s driver.

 

Steve Sueppel was a Vice President at the Hills Bank and Trust, a local financial institution, for the last 7 years.  In February, he allegedly confessed to embezzling over $500,000 over the course of his employment at the bank.  He also allegedly confessed to using some of the pilfered funds to purchase cocaine.  Mr. Sueppel was also the son of a prominent local attorney, one of the partners at Meardon, Sueppel and Downer in Iowa City. 

 

Scant details have been released thus far by law enforcement agencies involved in the investigation. For the time being, neighbors and friends are expressing disbelief.

 

EDITORIAL NOTE: The Brooding Cynyx have several correspondents located in the Iowa City area who will be providing exclusive, detailed reports in the up coming hours.

 

 

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